Dear Lexa

The other day I randomly came across a girls blog that I know through other friends, but I've never actually met her. I read something on one of her posts that made me feel kind of bad that she felt that way, and I've been thinking about it all week and what I would say to her if she were a close friend. I was bored today so I typed it up and now I'm going to share it with you. Not really sure why, but I've already typed it so why not ehh. Its really long, so unless you've got a lot of time you might not want to read it. Let me know what you think and what your thoughts are on the subject please. Thanks.

Oh yea, her name isn't really Lexa.

Dear Lexa,

I read the entry on your blog where you talked about wanting to get a nose job, and that you felt like you needed to do it in order to learn to really love yourself, because liking the way you look is a crucial part of loving yourself. I just had a few thoughts about that I wanted to share with you. First off, I think you are a beautiful person; I am solely speaking about your physical appearance, because I don’t know any more than that. In my mind I don’t see why you feel like you need to change your appearance. Now don’t get me wrong, I like you have things about my own appearance that I have either wanted to change or want to change now. That is something that pretty much every woman deals with, even the most beautiful, gorgeous person you can think of, still has those same issues. In the past few years of my life I’ve come to realize a few things and those are what I want to share with you. You mentioned the saying that is quoted quite often, “In order to love someone else, you must first love yourself”. I kind of agree with that saying, but I think it is more like, “In order to love someone else, and let them love you, you must not HATE yourself”. At least for me, that is something I had to do before I would believe that I was worth loving. Luckily this change in my life happened right before I met my husband. Okay, I know it wasn’t luck. I have never felt Heavenly Father’s hand in my life as much as I did during that time in my life, when I met Wayne and during our courtship.

Any way, about the nose job, I just don’t think that it will change your life, or the way you feel about yourself as much as you think it will. Truly loving yourself means accepting yourself for who you are, and who you can become. Knowing that you are a daughter of God that loves you more than you will ever know. He made you the way you are for a purpose and a reason. In his eyes you are beautiful, and there isn’t anything about your physical appearance that you could change that would make him love you more, because he already loves you as much as he can, and that is so much more than we can even comprehend. Those around you that love you, friends and family, they don’t love you because of the way you look. They love you for so much more than that. Think about all those you love, why do you love them? Is it because they are supermodels or have been voted the most gorgeous person in the world? I don’t think so; it’s because they know you and are there for you and would do anything for you. If you only “love” someone for their appearance, then that is NOT love. It’s nothing close to love, its selfishness and it won’t last. I have learned this concept so much more since I’ve been married. The more I get to know and love my husband, the more I am attracted to him physically. He is such a selfless, patient, fun person. His inner qualities mixed with the experiences we have together make him more physically attractive to me. He is a beautiful person on the inside and that radiates through and appears on the outside. It makes me want to be a better person, a better wife.

I also know a girl that I met in college that seriously is the nicest, most Christlike person I’ve ever met. When I look at her in person and in pictures I can see that inner beauty shine through her outward appearance. She is so beautiful, seriously in my eyes is the most beautiful person I know. I’m sure if someone that was wrapped up in worldly things compared a picture of her to a beautiful actress they would think the actress was more beautiful, because they are only looking on the outside. That’s the thing about the world…They are wrong. Their idea of what is beautiful and what is important is WRONG! It doesn’t matter what we do to change ourselves, to try and fit into what they world sees as valuable, we will never be good enough. They are looking for flaws, looking for reasons to hate you. That’s why it’s so important that we don’t let the world tell us what is beautiful, or what’s important, because they honestly don’t know. I mean that with my whole soul, they have no idea what beauty is.

When I think of beauty, I think of the Savior and the scripture Isaiah 53:2 “For he shall grow up before him as a tender ^aplant, and as a ^broot out of a ^cdry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no ^dbeauty that we should desire him.” There is not beauty that we could desire of him, nothing that could be changed because he is perfect, and through him we can be perfect to, and that is real beauty, being like our Savior, not looking like a Supermodel. I am so grateful for the gospel, and the knowledge that I have of a Heavenly Father and an Elder Brother Jesus Christ that love me for who I am, and for who they know I can one day be. What a blessing that has been in my life. It is something that I have to be continually reminded of, because the world and Satan, who is the leader of the world on their ideas, are always telling us different. That we’re not good enough and that we will never be good enough. But they are wrong, and I’m so glad I know that.